Everyone laughed at me when I claimed that Squirrels in the area of Russell Square were armed, and meant business. Nobody took me seriously when I claimed that one had followed me home, and had been waiting on a tree stump outside all night.

Well now it appears that squirrels across the world are standing up, and demanding that they be recognised. Last year they were found to be seeking narcotics in South London, and this year it’s become even more serious – with a pack of out of control squirrels coked up to their eyeballs attacking and murdering an innocent dog in Russia.

And when they invade Poland, we had better be ready…