You may have heard about the total devastation that hit Britain on February 2nd, 2009. I already feel behind the curve as I write this on a wind-up battery-powered laptop, dividing the last tin of baked beans out between myself and the family upstairs.
Transport ground to a halt because we weren’t as prepared as Canada. Businesses across the country, even in The Great Capital lost billions as a fifth of the workforce abandoned brave attempts to struggle into the office, shovelling coal into the engines attempting to push their way through snow drifts up and down the country. Some even had to revert to working from home, costing the economy further millions as I.T. support staff were pulled from vacations all over the world to keep VPNs and email systems up and running.
Bendy buses were left abandoned across London as people struggled to climb atop double deckers after a growing number of reports of minor avalanches around Hampstead Heath. Ferry services from Greenwich were suspended after hundreds of commuters were lodged firmly in ice for over 6 hours without food or water, and even the time-honoured horse and carriage struggled to get all 27 of the City of London’s remaining employees into work on time.
Boris Johnson was on hand to help anyone local school children “from the borough” build snowmen in any way he could. “The Snowman was invented in England, you know”, he quipped in an earlier statement today. Meanwhile, the Canadian army is said to have been put on high alert to help Britain in any way they could, whilst President Obama was quoted as saying “why can’t you be more like Chicago?”
Three of the major supermarkets have closed 80% of their stores nationwide, and do not expect supplies to return to the cities any time soon. With more snow expected before Saturday, they are said to be preparing armed forces from Sweden to prevent the tragic events in Shropshire happening elsewhere.
Then again, it’s just a bit of snow. Lighten up 🙂